escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
