Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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