So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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