I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
