My nipple is on Facebook.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize