There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
