just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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