if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
