hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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