my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
