i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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