I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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