i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
