I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If its not for food we ain't going out.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
