I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
