He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
