Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
