This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize