in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
