So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
