Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
