let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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