did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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