really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
