i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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