why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
