i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
