He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This baby is an asshole
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
did you just send me my own nude
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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