my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
