The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize