its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
