So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
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Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Maybe he injected his testicle?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Sorry I peed on your ottoman