Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.

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(909): I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part. http://tfl.nu/wibn

Replies (14) Good night (4709) Bad night (701)
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(703): View more from Virginia

She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper

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(703): She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper http://tfl.nu/dnfr

Replies (30) Good night (5653) Bad night (639)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?

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(860): I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/etyc

Replies (12) Good night (948) Bad night (2253)
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(513): View more from Ohio

his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.

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(513): his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick. http://tfl.nu/h0yf

Replies (18) Good night (1427) Bad night (5064)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.

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(248): Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone. http://tfl.nu/k3in

Replies (11) Good night (970) Bad night (5176)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?

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(412): in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila? http://tfl.nu/e4mt

Replies (7) Good night (3478) Bad night (942)
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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?

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(867): Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting? http://tfl.nu/56t0

Replies (2) Good night (2157) Bad night (1713)
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(419): View more from Ohio

You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Um. I literally have no words.

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(419): You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service. (1-419): Um. I literally have no words. http://tfl.nu/ua9g

Replies (3) Good night (2078) Bad night (967)
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(850): View more from Florida

I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.

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(850): I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs. http://tfl.nu/p0c7

Replies (11) Good night (2046) Bad night (818)
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(317): View more from Indiana

We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward

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(317): We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward http://tfl.nu/ufug

Replies (6) Good night (1608) Bad night (827)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.

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(847): Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high. http://tfl.nu/a6we

Replies (1) Good night (1235) Bad night (594)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!

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(570): It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?! http://tfl.nu/21am

Replies (11) Good night (2558) Bad night (592)
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(772): View more from Florida

Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

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(772): Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. http://tfl.nu/4fru

Replies (21) Good night (2123) Bad night (575)
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(847): View more from Illinois

So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.

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(847): So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along. http://tfl.nu/d3ni

Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (339)
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(360): View more from Washington

No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.

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(360): No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/06na

Replies (0) Good night (606) Bad night (334)

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