the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
