I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
