let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
