Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
