I heard we made out
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
