I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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