3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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