Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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