i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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