You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
