it hurts more in the daytime
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
