Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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