I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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