I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
