ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
