I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
