Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
