i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
