I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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