tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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