whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
