i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wish you could order shots online.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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