Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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