He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
