When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
