We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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