my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
