just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
