Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
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I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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