Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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