Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
