You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
