i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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